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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Critique of my story "No Laughing Matter"

If you remember I entered this at the WOW site  I didn't place, but I did receive a great review and here it is:


Scores: 1-5 (5 being strongest):
Subject: 5
Content: 5
Technical: 3

OPEN PROMPT (Any genre in fiction)
Word Count: 750 max


Subject (Is it fiction? Appropriate for WOW! readers? Brief summary):

The story is fiction and appropriate for WOW! readers. A girl is bullied at school

Content (Is the story well developed? Is there a plot/point to the story? Is it compelling? Are the characters well-drawn?)

Plot/point: There is a plot/point to the story
Compelling: It is compelling because of the tension
Characters: We know enough about the characters to carry the story

Technical (Did they follow the rules--is there a title and proper word count? Check for proper spelling, punctuation and grammar, correct tense, active not passive sentences, overuse of adverbs, use of "wrylies"):

Title: There is a title and it is appropriate

Word count: 281 words

Dialogue: The dialogue is good
Past tense/passive voice: This is written in active voice
Word choice/word usage: The word choices are good
Adverbs/adjectives: There are no adverbs or adjectives that stand out
Grammar/punctuation: The two commas should be periods. An em dash is two dashes with no spaces before or after—like this
Unnecessary words: There are no unnecessary words
Phrases: There are no awkward phrases
Clichés: There are no overused clichés

Overview (This is where you give your general impression about the writing style, how the story affected you, etc.):

"I really like your story! The fact that you were able to tell a complete story in less than 300 words is hard to do, but you did a great job. I like the way you characterized Brenda, and kept wishing she wouldn’t turn her story over. I wondered what the extra credit word was, and Susan let everyone know. I laughed at the end, and from now on, every time I hear the word “nincompoop” I’m going to think “ninja poop”! Nicely done!"

Critiqued by Literary Agent Regina Brooks

I'm doing the happy dance inside and out

Happy contesting

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